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I dunno, we were traveling in our car one day, when I began to think about time travel... So I wrote this poem. It's kind of long, but I like it, so you will too. Enjoy. |
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And so here is the story of Sir Francis McWorth Who has been a builder since the day of his birth. He would take things apart, then he'd put 'em togetter, And he always made new contraptions, for there was nothing better. At the fine age of 10, Frank was already acclaimed For numerous discoveries, which were after him, named. Some examples are McWorthium, and Tritanide, Which is commonly known as Tricobalt-Nonethyl-McWorthiumide. Alone Frank toiled on, in his old warehouse lair, Researching and creating, he had no time to spare, For Frank had a thirst, which could never be staunched For there was much knowledge to learn, and rockets to launch! But one day in his old warehouse annex, Frank discovered the theory of Temporal Mechanics! And when the calculations were done he had an idea sublime, That by using his theory, Frank could travel through time! Well, Frank lost no time, he began right away To build his 'Time Machine,' you could say. He built quickly, for he was a mechanical whiz 'Cuz the secrets of the Universe would finally be his. Frank built on through the days, and on through the nights, And the occasional explosion would give neighbors bad frights. So caught up in his work, he often forgot when to eat, Because he could not rest until his work was complete. At last, though, it was done, the cause of Frank's strife, But it was the greatest creation in all of his life. It sat in golden splendor, with a great air of awe, To Frank, it was beautiful; the most beautiful sight he'd saw. To the passerby, though, it was not pretty at all, If fact, when I saw it, I was thoroughly appalled! It was cylindrical, gray, and ugly, of course, And I'd just assume sell it, and go buy a horse. But to Frank it was perfect, with its huge central core, And all the buttons and levers and knobbies galore. When he powered it up, it made such a din, And at last it was ready to out for a spin! Frank was excited, he could hardly wait, So he stepped in the chamber, and then closed the gate. And the time machine spewed, and with a loud hum, Frank was hurled forward... Into the great 'Yet to Come.' It's time now for the time that everyone despises Where strange people sit down in their gaudy disguises And peddle their products to you by the dozen So you can give it to friends, your wife, or your cousin. ***************** Commercial 1 "ARE YOU TIRED OF EATING LEFTOVER CHEESES, OR THROWING AWAY KLEENEX WHEN SOMEBODY SNEEZES? DON'T THROW THEM OUT, BUT GIVE THEM TO ME, HOBO JOE. AND I'LL PEDDLE THEM OFF FOR A LITTLE MORE DOUGH. I'M WARM AND I'M CUDDLY, AND EXCELLENT WITH KIDS, IMAGINE THEIR SURPRISE WHEN I SELL OFF THEIR BEDS! I'M YOURS FOR ONLY TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY! THAT'S BRASH! CALL NOW!!!!! SO I CAN TURN YOUR THINGS, INTO MY CASH!" ***************** Commercial 2 *jingle* "Chunky Hotdogs, they're my fave! When I eat them I get brave. For you'll never know what you'll find, A finger, an eye, or a cantalope rind! The chunks so good! A prize in each one! Each dog is different, FUN! FUN!! FUN!!! The company's so nice, they only do good, By recycling your garbage into clean, healthy food!!! CHUNKY HOTDOGS!!!!" ***************** I'm sorry about this, truly I am, And now back to your scheduled program. Frank crossed time, space, reason and rhyme, For that's what happens when one transverses time Then he landed on his butt, with no special grace, And he realized he was in a familiar place. "I know this place," thought Frank on a grab. "The only place it could be is... My lab!!" And with the stuff and the things and the electrical nodes The place, sure enough, was Frank's humble abode. So then Frank checked his screens, and he checked them away, And he discovered he went forward through time, exactly one day. So he jumped off his machine, and like a very large elf He set off on a quest to find his future self. Frank found himself quickly, for he was in his favorite chair, In front of a computer, busy here, busy there. The future Frank was totally enveloped in his work. "What am I doing?" thought Frank, "I'd best have a look." So Frank got up slowly, and began to approach The future-type Frank, his space now encroached By all sort s of different types of machines, The likes that our Frank had never even seen. But before Frank could contact his future self, A strange thing caught his gaze above a high shelf. It gave a soft whir, but then with a gleam, It shot out a brilliant red laser beam. Our 'Frank to Come' caught the laser square in his trunk. It went in through the back, through the heart, out the front. He then fell to the floor, without any breath, And our Frank realized he had witnessed his death. "Nooooooooooooo!" Cried our Frank, overcome with this grief, But once he'd thought, he stood, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Wait, I can stop this, I've just got to be trying, For I can go to my time, and stop me from dying!" So then Frank returned to the past, to his own time, To stop his own death, for it would indeed be a crime! Frank worked all through the night, and into new day, And now finally, we'll see Frank's plan come to play! "It's a defensive mechanism, I call it Killbot, For it'll shoot my assassin before I can be shot!" Frank turned on the Killbot, which did a check on itself, And then waited for Frank's killer, hidden by a high shelf. After several minutes of hiding of scanning, like so, Killbot thought he found the murderer, standing just down below. It scanned the intruder, remaining ever so still, For Killbot would not allow the murderer to kill. Killbot was in no mood to allow his newfound creator to dye, So it targerted the intruder, and then thought to itself 'bye bye' Then it shot its one laser in a perfectly straight line. And in lightning speed, it burned a hole through Frank's spine Frank was in tremors, but confused even more, Because this sort of thing never had happened before. And as lost he then lost his balance, and fell in his home, He realized that he should've left the timeline alone. Then a familiar 'Nooooooo!!' reached his ears, and Frank, and he spied Himself about to time jump, with determination in his eye. Frank's thirst for more knowledge was his life's only quest And that thirst became the ultimate cause of his death. As his body shut down, Frank lay there and cried. But then that became too much, and Frank slowly there died. We know Frank was thirsty, and that's never a crime, But Frank should have known better than to tamper with time. -Richie Nelson- |