Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Specify that your drive-through order is
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with
friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it
occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a
camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all
your food, and announcing its your property.
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%,
extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Name your dog "Dog".
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers
running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
Reply to everything someone says with
"That's what YOU think!"
Declare your apartment an independent nation,
and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your
Forget the punch line to a long joke, but
assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying
everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Ask people their gender, and then laugh incessantly at their response.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific
papers and copy them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs
Invent nonsense computer jargon in
conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your
backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider
Finish all your sentences with the words
"in accordance with prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping
your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and
"accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's
every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
To really annoy people, stand on a street
corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow
Holler random numbers while someone is
Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When
the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When
the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear
you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine
you pay!" then leave.